Ticket 8: Forrest Gump

The Pitch: Charly meets Rain Man meets Zelig meets Slaughterhouse Five

Influence: The Other Sister, creepy Orville Deadenbacker listening to an iPod in a commercial

Price of Admission: $3.50

When: August 1, 1994 at 1 pm

My Age: 13

Quote: I believe he said he had to go pee. Heh heh. - John F. Kennedy

Trite baby boomer propaganda serving as nostalgia aside. I've always had a theory that this movie/book (I haven't read it) is based on Bob Dylan's comeback song "Tangled Up In Blue." There are many parallels and I say this forum is good as any to proselytize my theory of Tangled Up In Gump. 

First off, the synopsis: Halfwit encounters every major baby boomer historical event from Elvis to AIDS. 

Now the Tangled Up In Gump theory. Dylan said this about the song in 1978:

What's different about it is that there's a code in the lyrics, and there's also no sense of time. There's no respect for it. You've got yesterday, today and tomorrow all in the same room, and there's very little you can't imagine not happening.

Forrest Gump is also built on the scheme of the "yesterday, today and tomorrow all in the same room." As Forrest has been present at pretty much every singular event in the latter half of the 20th century, I wonder what adventures he would've been part of in the late 90's and the aughts? Would he have been trading college football stories with Al Cowlings when a flustered friend named Orenthal came running up asking for a ride? Or perhaps dole out fashion advice to a then frontwards-wearing red ball cap Freddy Durst. Maybe while nightswimming with the dolphins in Miami he helped guide a lost raft to shore carrying a young Elian Gonzales. Forrest most definitely would have his passe Hanks hair updated by the Fab 5 of Queer Eye.

But back to my Dylan/Gump theory. Here are a couple of examples straight from the lyrics and how they relate to the movie. [Note: Dylan lyrics are in italics.]

*Workin' for a while on a fishin' boat

-Forrest was a shrimp boat captain for Bubba Gump.

*She was workin' in a topless place

-Gump's childhood friend, Jenny, had a gig playing guitar topless. In this scene she even plays Bob Dylan's Blowin' in the Wind.

The whole mood of the song deals with this girl who comes in and out of this guy's life as he drifts from the Great North Woods to New Orleans to Montague Street. Forrest is a drifter and encounters Jenny periodically throughout his life. Dylan was the voice of the baby boomer generation. Which makes Forrest the catalyst of the baby boomer generation. 

(By the way, can you think of a more tragic death scene than this almost was? Being coked up enough to actually believe you were a free bird, ugh.)

Up next: Meryl, forget the dingo. Watch out for the Bacon.

Ticket 7: Blown Away

The Pitch: Patriot Games meets Far and Away meets the Anarchist's Cookbook

Influence: The Devil's Own, Goodwill Hunting, Arlington Road, S.W.A.T., The Departed

Price of Admission: $3.50

When: July 6, 1994 at 4:30 pm

My Age: 13

Quote:  I've come to create a new country called chaos, and a new government called anarchy. - Tommy Lee McJones

Unfortunately, this is not the softcore Blown Away starring the two Coreys and Nicole Eggert from Charles in Charge and Baywatch. Which, I did see part of in the mid-90s sometime, probably on HBO or Cinemax. This was Corey Haim's followup to a movie I almost forgot about called Prayer of the Rollerboys. Which is the coolest movie title about small wheel-based transportation since Gleaming the Cube. 

But enough Corey diversion. Back to the Blown Away at hand. 

Synopsis: Jeff Bridges is a bomb squad expert living in that Irish Only area called Boston. His real-life pops Lloyd plays the Untouchables Sean Connery mentor to his Kevin Costner. Lebowski is leading a double life as an ex-I.R.A. bomber. His old Irish bomber buddy, Tommy Lee Jones, has decided to terrorize him and Boston with a series of MacGyver(Scottish?) bombs. Obligatory U2 song. Tense Speed-like thecarwillblowupifyoubrake ending, cued up to a 4th of July performance by the Boston Pops.

To keep the Emilio-ness of the past ticket stubs, this movie was directed by the guy who directed Judgement Night. 

Up next: Baby boomer propaganda

Ticket 6: Maverick

The Pitch: California Split meets Lethal Weapon

Price of Admission: $3.50

When: May 28, 1994 at 1:15 pm

My Age: 13

Quote: I'm gettin' too old for this shit. - Danny Glover

The blockbuster Mel made right after his "I'm a real actor, not just People's 1st Sexiest Man Alive" role in The Man Without a Face. This disfigured role would be repeated by such sexy stalwarts as Tom Cruise in Vanilla Sky, Sylvester Stallone in Copland, Charlize Theron in Monster, and to less sexier account, Kevin Spacey in Pay It Forward. 

Maverick was an enjoyable summer trifle of a movie. Jodie Foster tries her hardest to pull off a sexy, come-hither poker playing sexpot to some degree of unsexy success ("Tayyy in da wiiind.") James Garner plays the old salt deputy that gits in the gander of Mel's schemes.

Synopsis: Mel has to collect enough money to play in a riverboat poker tourney. Jodie is a thief. Garner is the marshal. Mel and Garner take baths next to each other. Jodie says they have a lot in common. The two peak at each other's mavericks. 

Up next: Irish Car Bombs that don't include Bailey's and a hangover.